risk taing

Today is a beautiful day in South Africa. Everything is great. I have found a UNISA assignment not done yet so will have to work really hard to get it in by tomorrow. I'm reading a really good quiet time book Praying for purpose for women by Katie Brazelton and it really is a prayer experience rather than a quick run through before the day begins.

I am beginning to admit a few things to myself. As an officers Child (In the Salvation Army) I learnt - from very young - not to wear my heart on my sleeve. To defend myself and my beliefs fiercely. I learnt that I had an opinon and I expressed it freely.

But over the years the Holy Spirit worked with my spirit and began to soften the edges. I began to allow certain emotions to come into my day to day life. I still knew how to keep people at a distance - so made an excellent counsellor. Able to help others without getting emotionally involved.

But over the past year the Holy Spirit has been softening the centre bits. I'm exposing myself to more emoional risk taking. I've been hurt, disappointed, angry, frustrated more in this time then ever. But its all good because I'm allowing myself to feel. There are still times when I shut down and cloak myself with a hard shell that no one can penetrate but its at those moments that the Holy Spirit works really gently with me.

I've always known the Holy Spirit is the comforter but to be honest I have only just begun to really understand and personally experience this in my life.

So here we have another risk taking step but a good one for me.